The KEYS to the Sacred Art of Boundaries

BOUNDARIES are what protect us and allow us to nurture our intentions, build trust and follow our authentic truth!

KEY #1 – Set a Clear Intention

Your intention will create your reality and lay the foundation of the session. This is true for the session but it is also true in LIFE! Have the end in mind. That’s not to say you are controlling or attached to the outcome but the intention is an ideal of what you want to receive, focus on, call in or explore…

Your intention will be as unique as you in that present moment and can change from day to day, moment to moment… For example- “My intention today is to open to a new experience and allow myself to let go and explore what Tantra is and allow for all of these new sensations!”

OR “My intention today is to learn ways and means of ejaculation control and how to deeply connect with and please my partner”

Whatever the intention, this will then allow the energy we create together to flow in that direction!

To use a metaphor… The intention is the Mountain, the direction and the energy created is the River, the flow and the movement.


KEY #2 – Clarifying Boundaries

If our intention gives us the direction, and the energy created is the river, our boundaries are the banks along side our river which keep us safe and on track.

I explain to my clients that They are always the ‘driver of their experience’, I am but a Guide. That the space we are creating together is a full empowered “YES” and unashamed “NO” space, and that at any time they have full permission to express what feels really good and also express and let me know if something does not feel good.

This is the art of practicing Boundaries as a Sacred practice.

It is also the practice of conscious, clear communication. Many of us have never practiced our unashamed “NO” before… And a lot of us, many more than you would probably think, can not even bring ourselves to speak the word!

With this in mind I always ask my clients if they struggle to speak it, to raise their hand as our ‘safety’ signal if they should need a break, a pause so they can feel into, check into self to recalibrate and or re-evaluate where they are at at any given time.

Boundaries are a Sacred practice… Holding them in this way shows us and the world around us that we VALUE ourselves, our space and we know ourselves intimately.

Communicating our personal boundaries to our loved ones and others is also a Sacred practice. It can be very vulnerable to communicate our truth, what we need and what it is we deeply desire and it is this vulnerability that is the birth place of deep intimacy, connection and liberation!

So often I will ask a man, or woman “What are your boundaries today?” and more often than not, they look up (go straight into their head, accessing their cognitive brain) and reply “I have none!

I LOVE this response because it is a chance to PRACTICE some of the first elemental components of Tantra, those being intention, clarity and open clear communication!

The truth is … EVERYONE of us has boundaries!

Whether we are conscious to this or not is the only issue at play.

The client will have their Boundaries. The practitioner will have their Boundaries.

We each as individuals have our own levels of what is deemed ‘ok’ and ‘not ok’ on any given day. These too can change at any time as throughout the process so conscious clear communication and ‘checking in’ with yourself first, your client, intimate partner or others in general as you move through the session or life in general is an essential part of the deepening, expansion and over all trust building process…

And, what if you could start to believe… people would LOVE to meet you there!

To honour you, respect you and hold you in a space of deep reverence so that you can unfold, connect with greater intimacy and open up to receive!

When we speak our boundaries we in turn give others permission to do the same!

Understanding that our boundaries can change at any given time on any given day is important. As we are constantly evolving beings in a state of flux as grow we and new information comes to hand, its important that we know ourselves well enough to check in often and ask ourselves questions to establish what it is we need, what we desire and how we are letting others know how to treat us…

So what a beautiful opportunity to check into yourself now and ask some key questions…

  • What is my Intention? Always start here…
  • What are my boundaries today?
  • In this moment?
  • With myself, this person, people or situation?
  • Am I expressing my truth and have I communicated my boundaries clearly?
  • Are they being respected?
  • What can I do to take responsibility for self in this situation and keep myself safe?
  • Do I need to communicate/ remove myself from the situation?
  • What one action can I take in the present moment to honour myself now and recommit to my own boundaries?


Remember… We can not control any other person place or thing. Only our response to it or them. Therefore creating, expressing and upholding our Boundaries is our RESPONSIBILITY!

Even if you have previously to this point been someone who has never claimed your right to own your own boundaries always know… It is never to late to start.

You are allowed.

You have permission.


Here’s to the Sacred PRACTICE!

Here’s to your journey…


Ella x


To learn more about Boundaries as a Sacred Practice or to experience working with Ella as your Guide for either Tantric Bodywork or Life Coaching to empower yourself to step into new levels of self mastery, self love and permission, click here for all offerings or contact her direct on mobile: 0484388778